Same Old Song, Dance and Penalties

Essentially, I would've taken a 2-1 loss in normal time. Or maybe even a 1-0 win in extra time. But to be knocked out in a penalty shootout again is perhaps a little too hard to swallow for even transplanted England fans like me.

Scolari has done it again. He has masterminded England's downfall at a major tournament yet again. And he has done the latest not long after turning down the job to lead England into the next one. Which is a huge pie into the face of Eriksson, McClaren and the 11 players, later 10, who slogged hard on the pitch.

Ironically, England turned in their best performance of the tournament and lost. Rooney imploded, as was expected based on our pre-tournament prediction. He may not have taken out a referee but he certainly took himself out of the game. Then on, England had to play Damage Control Inc. and they never did settle into a good groove although Lennon's inclusion added plenty of speed and bite on the right side and Crouch worked hard to hold the ball up. But the surprise turned out to be Owen Hargreaves who showed everyone, on what turned out to be Eriksson's last game in charge, why his manager always insists on playing him at crucial moments. His industry and direct running produced a few scares for Portugal and he baby-sat the back four well enough to earn his place in the starting 11 ahead of Michael Carrick. And he capped his night off by scoring England's only penalty success.

Ah yes Portugal. Bunch of bastards they are. Not because they are the team that knocked out England. Not entirely at least. But certainly because of their debauched approach towards the beautiful game. It would be a terrible injustice should Portugal win the World Cup with their back against the ground, frolicking in pseudo pain. They deserve very little respect.

Respect, or lack of, would probably be the key to why Beckham has stepped down as skipper, barely 12 hours after this tragic result for English fans worldwide. A tearful Beckham on the bench said plenty about the heavy atmosphere running up to England's terrible fate at yet another penalty shootout. Terry has been identified as a possible replacement. It is arguable that Terry's robust style and constant on-field bickering are tell-tale signs of a natural leader. Qualities that Beckham lacked terribly. Aaron Lennon has also certainly made it easier for the English fans to let their talismanic leader go. His superb performances as a sub showed that with him, England have more attacking penetration. His exceptional dribbling skills were a joy to watch, and with Joe Cole on the left, England could finally harkened back to the days when the English were notable for brilliant wingplay through players such as John Barnes and Chris Waddle.

"Eriksson should have brought more strikers," was the cry of many, including England legend Ray Wilkins. But what's done is done. Arguably, Jermain Defoe may not even have done as well as Gerrard in a striking role. Theo Walcott should have been gambled on perhaps. But Eriksson's spontaneity in selecting him in the first place was nowhere to be seen in the Cup as he reverted to his Cautious Sven persona. But what is done is done. Owen's unfortunate injury was quite a major blip that no one is discussing now, preferring to focus on Rooney's implosion. But of course much rode on Rooney's ability to take Portugal out single-handedly, at least the fans believed that he could. He looked like he was going to, until the send off. Which would have ruled him out of the World Cup anyway. Which ultimately means that should England have won the penalty shootout, they would be left with just Peter Crouch and his robot dance to depend on against France. Which means game over anyway.

Penalties, the bloody stupidest word this side of Birmingham for every England fan out there. What happened to the days of Shearer and Sherringham, players you could count on to put a penalty in? These days, not even Gerrard or Lampard, arguably two of the best midfielders in the world, can be depended on to slot them in. Other than Rooney, to be honest, none of the English players looked like they could put one in. Maybe English players are no longer built like that. Like German players are. Every German player looks like they could put theirs in. Even Brazil. It is a sense of stature and confidence that appears lacking for England. Lampard had that aura but to be honest, his indifferent form in this World Cup may have contributed to his miss.

So here's to another unsuccessful attempt at football's G-spot. And out the same way they go all the time, like dumb sheep. This post is un-objective, completely biased and terribly mournful. So let's drink to France's success in destroying those Portuguese bastards.

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