Juventus off the bottom

Secawan Bola's fascination with Juve's sojourn through Serie B continues with this little nugget of news: Juventus are no more last place in Serie B.

Juve, Italy's giant club were relegated before the start of the season, and penalised with a 17 point deduction. Hence, the Bianconeri began the season with negative 17 points and firmly anchored to the bottom of Italy's second tier.

But five wins and a draw later, and the Turin giants are officially second-last. This comes as especially ironic news, considering that they are second-last with a total points haul of... negative one.

Who is it then, who is last, with fewer points than negative one? Arezzo. With negative two points. How did that happen? Don't ask us. Italy is a very strange country.

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Boumsong finds home

"Unfortunately, that's maybe the way my career will go. I don't think it's fair but I've learned how to deal with it ... I was the target of the English press when I was playing for Newcastle last season ... It was relentless and stupid. All right, I'm no Beckenbauer but with time I've figured out what I can do and what I can't." - Jean-Alain Boumsong

Right, so everyone has had a good pop at Boumsong in their time - not least of all us at Secawan Bola. And it's nice to see the guy own up to the likelihood that he will never be world class. And perhaps swapping the black and white stripes of Tyneside for that of Serie B's bottom feeder Juventus was always the kind of move that suited Jean-Alain best.

A temporary stint at a big club defending day in day out against pallid opposition ... at Juve, Boumsong may have finally found a club that befits his high profile yet provides his error-prone ways little margin for slip-ups. Or is he really that bad?

Perhaps English football was never his thing. Perhaps he should have stayed in Auxere until a move to the slower-paced Serie A beckoned. Perhaps Philippe Mexes, his partner while in France, was smart to turn down Arsenal and Liverpool and opt for Roma instead. Now, here he is. Boumsong, two seasons of British football later, has warded off being everyone's nightmare defender, survived the harshest ridicule perhaps because Titus Bramble spent more time on the bench, and is a less fun target anyway.

You have to admire his humility - and perhaps in this setup, France's third choice centreback has found his spiritual home. Let's hope Juve get promoted. The world needs Boumsong in top flight action once more.

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Young Player Profie: Nabil El Zhar

Name: Nabil El Zhar
Age: 20
Position: Forward
Club: Liverpool
Country: Morocco

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Nabil El Zhar. As of today, he is a Liverpool reserves player. We could have put up pictures of him standing around the pitch in his new Liverpool jersey but we thought these pictures were more informative.

El Zhar, as you can see, is a guy who likes to get tangled up among opposing defences. You can also see that he's a nippy fella with low centre of gravity. Both pictures above suggest that the guy has pace and knows how to get around defenders.

Mainstream media will back this up - with Wikipedia reporting that his natural playing position is either as a striker or playing in the hole behind the front two, and the bulk of Liverpool sites describing him as a highly determined striker. El Zhar is a French-born Moroccan who has started junior games for both nations. He was part of the Moroccan team that finished 4th in last years World Youth Championships - which figures, because Kop scouts had been watching that tournament closely.

Much remains to be seen of this kid. But the press are starting to get their feelers around him so we thought it was time to dip our fingers into his limited fame. Young French-based players arriving at Liverpool was the hot thing five years ago, and it was a failed policy. As much as there is stuff to suggest raw talent and potential, there is equal measure suggesting problems adapting the british game's brutish lack of charm (look at him!). And while the fan in me would like to see him succeed, the critic in me thinks this is Anthony Le Tallec meets Bruno Cheyrou south of the border. All the best in the Mersey, kid. Please make me eat my words.

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The Return of Stan Collymore

Stan Collymore is trying to pick himself up again.

"A month from today I guarantee I will be able to stand side by side with any striker in the country and my physique will be up there with any of them." - Stan Collymore

Some people will find this laughable, and from a purely footballing perspective, it probably is. But there's something sad about a 35-year-old who was once the country's hottest young striker, thinking at he can still cut it alongside the Henrys, the Rooneys and the Drogbas of the world. And it's not a pathetic "sad" either, it just reminds you of the loss that they've had in their life, and at a non-tabloid level, Stan's desire to return is absolutely heartbreaking.

Of course, he could defy the odds, come back for one or two great seasons and this would become a story of grit, guts and tenacity, but something tells me that he doesn't even need successful seasons to prove that. Sure, it looks every bit like comic tragedy, or tragic comedy, still there's something strangely admirable about a loser who won't let down.

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Missing: Ariel Ortega

Have you seen this man?

His name is Ariel Ortega.

Ortega went missing after his club, River Plate travelled on a 10-hour bus ride from Cordoba, where they drew 1-1 after conceding a pathetic late goal. He didn't show up for training the morning after the bus ride. If you see Ortega, please contact Lost and Found at:

Club Atletico River Plate
Av. Pte. Figueroa Alcorta
7597 CP 1428 Buenos Aires
Tel: (5411) 47891200
www.cariverplate.com.ar
club@cariverplate.com.ar

His fans miss him very much.

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