Sepp Blatter is at it again

"When it comes to the World Cup final it is passion, and when it goes to extra time it is a drama. But when it comes to penalty kicks it is a tragedy." - Sepp Blatter.

Sepp Blatter wants to get rid of penalty kicks in the world cup and replace it with the golden goal. Will he never leave football alone? Must he always stick his grubby little fingers into every aspect of the game trying to fix something that isn't broken?

Sepp Blatter, penalties might be a tragedy to you because your old frickin heart can't take it. But the rest of us love it. It's downright dramatic, it absolutely scares the shits out of the fans, it's the most heartbreaking way to lose but it is part of the game. The sooner you wake up and realise this, the sooner you can start paying attention to the real crimes in the sport right now: simulation and bungs. As for penalties, they have been an integral part of the world game since its inception in Euro 76 and you, one senile man, cannot take that away from us. Penalty shootouts have given us so much world cup folklore. It makes heroes out of men. It separates the mentally resilient from the physically able.

Do you wanna know what tragedy is, Mr President Blatter? Tragedy is your lousy golden goal rule which you dug up from under a pile of rotting carcasses and tried to shove into our mouths six years ago. You're just an unhappy old fart with nothing better to do in his time than uglify the beautiful game. Abdicate your throne you good for nothing twat!

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Hammed

To borrow a common and terribly overused phrase - you can take a club out of the Championship but you can't take the Championship out of the club.

West Ham crashed out of Europe last night, with bionic duo Carlos Teves and Javier Mascherano in tow against, Palermo, a side who can only count Aussie Mark Bresciano as probably the most recognizable name in their squad. In other words - there's no more excuses.

The impact of the Argentinian duo has been severely mis-managed by West Ham. There hasn't been any explosive performances from Tevez, who some would rank as perhaps one of the finest players on the globe today. How explosive can you get when you are playing off someone like Carlton Cole?

Even after producing sparkling gems such as Rio Ferdinand, Joe Cole, Michael Carrick and of course, Frank Lampard over the years, most of these players achieved their max potential elsewhere. Now with Tevez and Mascherano, it's like giving the latest O2 PDA/phone to your technologically spastic dad.

It's better for West Ham to purchase like-minded Championship-style working class players who can band and huddle together to grind out a teeth-grazing survival campaign. Now Alan Pardew would be hard-pressed to play the duo even though they appear to not be delivering the goods. Just like how you can't just leave a RM3000 PDA at home even if it's a pain to learn how use it.

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Football is a strange

It was one of those nights when Peter Crouch would score a spectacular bicycle kick and the dimunitive Luis Garcia would head home a classic center forward's goal.

Liverpool, against trend, are the ones who pull 3-0 ahead before suffering an onslaught comeback. Of course, the script would be imperfect, and Galatasaray would never get their third goal.

But the reversals are all there, and the irony alone is a joy to know.

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So sad ...

From Soccernet: MONTEVIDEO, Sept 25 (Reuters) - Former Uruguay striker Dario Silva has had his lower right leg amputated following a car crash, a hospital director said on Monday. Silva suffered an exposed fracture of the leg after the accident on Montevideo's main seafront avenue on Sunday morning, when his pick-up truck collided with a lamp-post. "There was no other solution other than to amputate below the knee," said Mario Cancela, head of the intensive care unit at the private hospital where Silva is being treated.

Silva made 49 appearances for Uruguay between 1995 and 2005, scoring 14 goals, and played at the 2002 World Cup, when Uruguay were knocked out in the first round.
His last international appearance was in the World Cup qualifying playoff at home to Australia last year.

I know I've poked fun at Silva on this blog but really, this is terribly sad news. And of all body parts, it is the one that's most essential to his profession. No snide comments today. Just some empathy.

Cheers mate.

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Skandalooooos

Unless you've been, well, not surfing the net today or checking your favorite football sites in the last day or two, you would know that English football is being hit by quite a major scandal.

And no, it does not just involve some tight-upper lipped suit in some office who you don't know or the janitor's son but some of the mentioned parties include Bolton manager Big Sam and Pompey manager Harry Redknapp.

While it is nowhere in the scale of the scandal that struck Malaysian football some years ago that effectively crippled our national team and sent Malaysian football about 10-years back into the dark ages (and seriously, considering where Malaysian football was at, at the time, it was pretty damn far back), it is certainly a grave concern. Which could in turn result in two managerless Premiership clubs before the season ends.

With the start Pompey's had, you must wonder if this will start mucking around with Harry's dreams of European grandeur. If it did then it would come as no surprise, seeing as little clubs like theirs never do end up ending the season on a romantic note anyways. It's either an injury to their top striker or their boss being accused of tapping up a player. In any case, the powers that be will find something to stuff the little-lings lower on the table so that the big guns can maintain their big-ass sponsorship contracts.

Anyone noticed that Big Sam's suits started getting more and more stylish? Hmmm ...

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Young player profile: Elano Blumer

Name: Elano Blumer
Age: 25
Position: Attacking midfielder
Club: Shaktar Donestk
Country: Brazil

This is Elano Blumer, or as all great Brazilians are better known, just Elano. He's the guy who scored two goals against Argentina in Brazil's 3-0 friendly win recently. Prior to that game, he had only played three times for Brazil, so it's an awesome record for him, especially with the goals coming in an el classico game.

Elano is an attacking right sided midfielder who can also play in the middle. His physical game also means that he has filled the defensive midfield gap at club level. He is right-footed, which when coupled with some rumours that call him "the next Beckham" seems to create for us the picture of a... well, Beckham who tackles hard. The similarities don't end there - Elano is somewhat of a deadball specialist, with freekicks and penalties often falling at his feet. To cap it off, he wore number 7 for Brazil the other day.

While his attributes are merely words to describe till you see him in action, the fact that he wears a fashionable number in the Brazil team hints that manager Dunga rates him as something of a valued first teamer. Strange, considering that up until two weeks ago, the Brazilian team picked itself and this 25 year old was a nobody plying his trade in Ukraine. But Dunga, who knew him from their days in Santos, really does fancy him, and in one interview, referred to Elano as a "key player" in his team. "He's the kind of player who seldom gives the ball away and an example for young players looking for a chance," Dunga said elsewhere.

To add dimension to this young man, Elano possesses a fearsome shot from distance: plough your way through Brazil's and any number of Shaktar Donestk's match reports and count the number of times Elano's name appears in the same sentence as words like "screamer", long-range", "bolt" and "35 yards" and it gives you a deeper understanding of how this guy plays. (Incidentally, you might soon have to plough through AC Milan's match reports too - word on the street says that the Rossoneri are after him!)

But what does it mean for Elano to break into a Brazil midfield already choking with stars? In the game against Argentina, Elano scored both goals after interplay with Robinho and Kaka respectively, suggesting that his inclusion into the midfield compliments rather than unhinges the work of his more illustrious compatriots. After a world cup where Brazil looked lazy and disjointed, this can only be good news for the man they call Elano Blumer.

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From Soccernet: Chelsea's Germany captain Michael Ballack apologised to Liverpool's Mohamed Sissoko on Sunday after he stamped on the Mali midfielder's leg and was sent off during a fiery Premier League match. Ballack was shown the first straight red card of his career by referee Mike Riley for violent conduct six minutes into the second half. He will miss the next three games. The Chelsea midfielder waited outside the Liverpool dressing room to offer his apologies after the game. 'It's a bad situation for me,' a softly spoken Ballack said. 'It is the first straight red in my career. 'I didn't mean to injure him. I've just seen him now and I've said sorry,' he added. 'In the second half these situations can happen. It was bad for me. The team worked very hard after this and we went on to win the game.'

Now that's a man. I've about had it with weenies that claim 'they did not mean to kick that player's balls' or 'I wanted to stretch my neck but I accidentally head-butted the idiot instead'. But Ballack, now he is different. Sure he did not mean to injure but he admitted to stamping.

No copping out, nopes. Sure he was sorry, like how we are sorry when we burned down a block of our school by farting at couple of lit matches. Or how you were sorry about stealing your best bud's girlfriend, but you know, too bad.

I mean, eating all those big meaty German frankies must show somewhere right? And what better way to show it than stamping on an opponent's leg, getting yourself sent off in an important clash with a good half-hour still to go and admitting that you intended to do it at that. Manly, man. Woo hoo.

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Juventus update: Welcome to Serie B

Can you spot the big names? Del Piero. check. Nedved. check. And then there's the rest. Juventus look like a team on a sunday walkabout in the neighbourhood park. The tiny terraces, the midday games, the casual feel. This is life in Serie B.

Juventus opened their second-tier account with an away draw to Rimini, each side scoring a goal apiece, and they pick up one point to cut their punishment deficit to negative 16 points. They sit at the bottom of Serie B, and will continue to do so until they can pull off at least six straight wins if not something closer to ten. And do that they can.

In spite of the post-world cup diaspora, many of the Juve faithful are still there: Buffon, Trezeguet, Camoranesi, Tudor, Kovac, Zebina. For all intents and purposes, this is a team that can reasonably challenge for european places in Serie A, which follows that a 17 point deduction can and should be overturned enroute to a speedy return to Italy's top flight. If anything is to go by, their preseason victories, with margins like 7-0 against clubs of comparative level to Serie B, suggests that their 1-1 hiccup to Rimini might just be that: a hiccup.

But the pictures say it all, don't they? Just months ago, guys like Buffon, Del Piero and Camoranesi were dancing in Berlin's Olimpiastadion, crowned world cup winners. Now, it's the sunday park, one-terrace stadium with trees within eyeshot. Secawan Bola promise to keep you updated on one of the world's greatest clubs as they claw their way out of second division.

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Farewell Riquelme

Argentina playmaker Juan Roman Riquelme waved goodbye to international football yesterday, citing that he needed to look after his mum's health, and that the Argentina shirt can never compare to his duties as a son.

While entirely noble, this news comes as a great loss to football fans worldwide. International football is a lesser sport without Riquelme, who is at his prime at 28. And though Argentina have an abundance of talent in his position, Riquelme brings to the game a certain class and nimble brilliance that few will ever know how to bring.

Argentina's captain will continue to play for his club side Villarreal, but something about this retirement reminds me of Marco Van Basten's truncated career. Let's all hope Mrs Riquelme Sr gets well and we'll all see a fit 32 year old Juan Roman in South Africa four years from now.

Please don't leave us just yet.

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Young player profile: Rodrigo Palacio

Secawan Bola is proud to bring you a new series entitled Young player profile. Whenever we do one of these, we profile a young player from a league from somewhere, usually a player who is gaining interest and could soon become hot property, but is essentially someone the international media hasn't actively picked up on. We'll tell you what you'll need to know about him so you can take his little profile away and name drop him among your football peers. When his name becomes household, should it ever, and you look like the paragon of cool for getting to him before Jorge Valdano did, all we ask of you is to drop by and leave a comment telling us what a nice bunch of blokes we've been. ;) And so, with that, we begin.


Name: Rodrigo Palacio
Age: 24
Position: Striker
Club: Boca Juniors
Country: Argentina

This is Rodrigo Palacio. Boca Juniors signed him last year after he turned up 36 times for Banfield and scored 9 goals. While that's not exactly a phenomenal goal return, his first season under the tutelage of Alfio Basile earned him rave reviews in Argentina, which culminated in his selection in Jose Pekerman's world cup squad. You may not remember it, but Palacio was a second-half substitute in Argentina's opening game against Ivory Coast.

The flamboyant Ricardo La Volpe has taken over the reins at Boca Juniors this season, and Palacio has netted three times in Boca's opening six games. His strike partnership with Boca legend Martin Palermo has been hugely fruitful, with Palermo finding a rich vein of form alongside young Palacio.

At 24, Palacio already has a fair few titles under his belt: the 2005 Apertura and Clausura championships, the 2005 Copa Sudamericana (something like South America's UEFA Cup) and the 2005 Recopa (South America's Super Cup). It seems like his move to Boca has, if nothing else, has won him some silverware and a day in shop window for European clubs.

All this, along with the promotion of former mentor Alfio Basile into the Argentina manager position, can only be good news for Palacio as far as his international career is concerned. Palacio has turned up three times for the Albiceleste. Having said that, his competition at international level is extremely stiff, and he must fend off higher profile youngsters like Teves, Saviola and Messi if he is to earn his... stripes, blue and white. He missed out on the recent friendly loss to Brazil, though that might actually have been a good thing. There's definitely promise for Boca's number 14, and we'll track him along with Boca this season, and see if his promise ever comes good.


Next up: Elano. Who's that Brazillian who put two past Argentina? We'll profile el classico's latest hero.

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Wenger is a mathematician

From Soccernet: He will sign a new contract yes. Cesc [recently] signed a [new] contract that was agreed before with his initial contract. 'The real new contract is now," Wenger noted. "Nineteen plus eight is 27. There are not many [longer contracts] - but when you are 19-years-old and are already a regular player in the team, I do not have a problem."

8 years?! Do you know what can happen in 8 years? For one thing he can end up being the dump of the season. Or he could write a book and end up being sold. Or he could start dating another Spice Girl and start crying at a World Cup. Just ask Marcus Stewart or Thomas Brolin or any young French player that played for Liverpool under Houllier's reign. I bet they thought they were hot shots too. But look what happened to them.

And what is it with football managers and their need to prove to us they can count all the time? Like we don't know what is 19 + 8, tsk. Wait a minute, what is 19 + 8?

.................................. oh, 27.

See I do know. Cause I may not be able to read but I can definitely count.

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English clubs are vampires

Just check your friendly neighborhood soccer sites. You will find three very important bits of news.

1) Morientes scored a hat-trick for Valencia
2) Shevchenko failed to score again
3) The whole Liverpool team failed to score again

The large victories Bayern, Barca and Roma notched were unimportant. Or the fact that a German taught an Englishmen how to take a penalty.

More important on the agenda is why are some English clubs sucking the goals out of perfectly good strikers?! Is it the English women? The tea? Crouch blocking the sun out? What?

It's like those old computer games where if you get razed by fire you lose points or the ones where if you wrongly stepped on those red energon cubes, you get your life blood deducted. Only thing is there are no fires around Anfield and certainly no red energon cubes sucking the goals out of perfectly good strikers.

Maybe it's Big Brother.

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Mourinho is leaving

From Soccernet: "Mourinho said: 'It is not correct. I made one mistake in Porto and that was to leave when I was European champion. I could have won the Inter-Continental Cup and I didn't. If I win the Champions League again, I want to win the Inter-Continental Cup and not gift it to another manager to win it," Mourinho wants to win the European Cup and then beat the South American champions, so he can call his team the best in the world."

Isn't the Inter-Continental Cup or now known as the FIFA World Club Championship held just a couple of months after the season resumes? Why the hell do people say stupid things that don't mean anything all the time. Like this. I bet the press were wondering the same thing as well. It's like saying 'I promise I will love you, if you can swallow my plastic dinosaur toy in a single gulp' or like what parents like to say 'You can go out late tonight, but only if you come back by 10.' Why why why? He should have just said, "I plan to leave this club after I've won everything so if you don't want me to leave, pray that I win nothing. Pray harder, harder harder harder."

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The greatest double swoop in Premiership history

Teves and Mascherano. Probably the greatest double coup in premiership history. Possibly one of the greatest double coups in football history. Two of the hottest Argentine talents have moved to a club that just two seasons ago was busy winning promotion into the Premiership. Now, West Ham - the great West Ham of Bobby Moore and Geoff Hurst - have in their ranks players coveted by the Real Madrids and Man Utds of the world. Someone tell me this isn't the makings of a great Championship Manager storyline!

How did that happen? All the jealous sods are pointing fingers at Joorabchin, West Ham's potential investor, riling at the possible impropriety of the transfer while they curse beneath their breath that it's not their club who got them. UEFA are gonna make their foray into regulating foreign investment in the premiership. whoop-dee-doo.

The rest of us, however, wait with bated breath for this duo's premiership debut, potentially against Aston Villa. West Ham excited us last year with some brilliant displays against big guns, culminating in the FA Cup final. We knew they were going to be exciting this year. Now, they've just gone out and thrown down the gauntlet. Just look at them - Teves with his rare gift of scowling and smiling at the same time, and Mascherano, with an entirely annonymous look of nobodyness. But these aren't nobodies.

These are men with the onus to thrill.

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"I did not provoke him, I responded verbally to a provocation," Materazzi told the daily Gazzetta dello Sport on Tuesday.

"We both spoke and I wasn't the first. I held his shirt but don't you think it is a provocation to say that 'if you want my shirt I will give it you afterwards'? I replied to Zidane that I would prefer his sister, that is true. I brought up his sister and that wasn't a nice thing, that is true,' said Materazzi."

Okay I don't know which ding donging planet Marco crash landed from but Zidane's supposed line of sin just doesn't sound like much to me. It would be like me saying 'thank you' to the butcher for my pound of meat and have him call me an insensitive prick and proceed to drag me to the middle of the street and bat me over the head constantly with a T-bone axe.

But then again football is starting to make less and less sense. Just ask Jermain Defoe why he missed out on the World Cup after scoring two good goals against Andorra.

No sense man. And I love it.

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What Could've Been ...

"He went on to threaten that if he was forced to play, or if he was disciplined and financially punished for his breach of the rules, that he could score an own goal or get himself sent off, or make deliberate mistakes."

Shame on you William. That would be the ultimate match fix. The one that requires no hiding, no shaddy activities and no stealth. Just guts, a ball and errr ... a pair of balls. Although the former WWE fan in me was screaming for something like this to happen at some point. Defender scores own goal, runs to the opposing fans' stands and screams. Like how some wrestlers are supposedly betrayed by a tag team partner and the betrayed dork turns and fakes out that shocked look. Would've been great to see Mour with a shocked face. Only thing is it wouldn't be fake, cause the EPL just isn't the WWE.

Now we will never know.

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